Today is my 31st birthday! It was 31 years ago I entered the world… and I don’t think any of us really know what this whole journey is really going to be about. I think our parents could try to predict what we’ll be when we grow up. So far, I’m enjoying living an artistic life with my web design business and dabbling in things outside of web design like painting and writing this blog.
I had knew that losing my parents would have a great effect on me… but only time would tell… one thing I know for sure, birthdays are never the same. My dad left us the day before my 23rd birthday on October 14, 2004. I feel like I was just on the edge of becoming a real adult; I had finished college… had a full time job at a New York City production company… although I had been out of the house since 17, I felt like at 22 I was just becoming me… and hoping I could circle back around passed all those teenage angst-y years to become friends with my parents. I didn’t get much of a chance and sometimes I curse God/The Universe for not giving me the opportunity to really be friends with my parents, especially my dad. My mom passed when I was 27, so she had 5 more years to get to know who Lisa the adult was. I would say that my mom and I *did* get to be friends, but not for long.
When my dad died that day, I knew that my birthday every year would forever be tainted with little pieces of sadness and bad memories. My parents always made a big deal out of my birthday in some way. They knew how to make me feel special…
Yesterday, I felt the pain body big time. The pain body is something that comes alive in us and makes us not present and mind identified. The truth is, we are not our minds and we are not our emotions. Thoughts and feelings are energy. There are mind patterns that make us believe that we are our thoughts, but the truth is we are the watcher behind the thoughts.
If you want to learn more about this theory, I advise you to listen or read The Power of Now. Here’s an excerpt from it that I love, called “The Way Out of Pain”: