A few weeks ago, I started part one of this blog post series I’m calling “Missing Your Mom on Mother’s Day: Mothers Day Prep 2012” (where I have steps 1 and 2).
This weeks topic: To distract or dive in?
That is the question.
Step 3: Decide what kind of person you are and how you’d like to deal with this day.
Are you the kind of person that likes a good distraction or diving into the feelings to move through it? I’m a fan of both, actually. Diving through the feelings is the ONLY way to move through feelings in general, especially those associated with grief. It can be scary, awkward, strange and a web of all kinds of other emotions, but you get it out of the way. You can save your future self heart ache if you deal with some of the painful stuff now while it’s here. Am I saying you should totally avoid and ignore your feelings? No. Am I saying could you, for days like this? Kind of. You have the option to. Their your feelings, you can choose to deal with them how you like.
If you are the kind of person that needs a distraction, do it in a health way. I would start planning out some ideas. And give those ideas a back up plan ie: if your distraction is to go for a long bike ride, have a plan b if it rains. Some other distraction ideas include: going to a party, listening to your favorite album on spotify, pandora, iTunes, CD, mp3, ipod, etc, going to the movies, going somewhere new you have never been to, traveling, doing something exciting (zip line anyone?!), etc. Try not to be alone on this day if you can help it. Moping around the house is not going to help you to feel better or ease the pain.
If you’re the kind of person that wants to dive in, I would also start planning out some ideas. How could you safely dive into those feelings? Could you journal? Could you draw? Paint? Take a yoga class? Talk to a friend? A family member? Create a memory book? Use the sedona method (what is the sedona method you ask?! A great question, to be answered another day).
Who are you? How do you deal with things the best? How would you like to deal with things? Is now a good time to switch from distraction to diving in? Is now a good time to move from diving in all the time to a little distracting?