Hi, I just wanted to write you and wanted to let you know that I’m thinking about all of you on this day. I know there is a wound in your heart that is aching and you are somewhere out there in the world trying to make the best of the day today.
I called a mother figure I love dearly this morning and found that it really helped to funnel the love I have for the mothering to a person I feel has warm motherly energy and has been a support in my life. She has always been on board with my dreams and goals and we’ve inspired one another. I love her dearly.
I am allowing myself to do whatever I need to do to take care of myself today. I have been feeling honestly not my strongest, but that’s real and it’s all okay. I am noticing that I do not have a desire to deal with people who are sharp or who dive into judgement before they dive into openness or love. I really don’t want to be around them right now and I don’t have a filter or a tolerance for their ignorance. I am accepting this as my truth… and I encourage you if there is someone you find sharp, especially during this soft and sensitive time, that you remove them from your path for now.
I have been doing a lot of truth and inner work on myself. One truth is that I don’t have it all figured out, that I am a work in progress, and that moving to Portland is a part of that process. I have always felt that this is a place where there’s a lot of people working on themselves emotionally and spiritually and are more okay talking about it than any other place I’ve visited. Many people I encounter accept life as this beautiful, uncomfortable process. I’d like to think grief is one of those things… a beautiful, uncomfortable process.
I often feel confused about the decision to come out here because I miss old parts of my life that were familiar… including loved ones, but that it’s clear to me I had to take a chance on this dream… this place is bizarre, inspiring and wonderful. Yes, it rains a lot, but I’ve never seen so many rainbows in my life.
Hope you are doing something brave for yourself today. I might go for a hike.