My uncle’s brother died this week. His name to me was always “Uncle Neal” even though we were not related by blood. I received a text this am asking me where my dad was buried and realized that today must be Uncle Neal’s funeral. It seems he is being buried in the same Jewish cemetery in Florida.
This morning I was searching all over google, and then my computer, for words I haven’t seen since the last time I went hunting for the exact location of my dad’s grave. As time goes by, I have to remind myself of where he’s buried.
“Jewish Cemetery Florida”
“Star of David Jewish Cemetery Florida”
I started to feel a deep sorrow… a specific grieving energy I haven’t felt in quite some time. Whenever I start remembering my dad is gone and all the bad memories that come along with that time period in my life, I start to feel really sad feelings in my body. It’s heavy, deep, and feels very much in my stomach and heart. It make me want to take deep breaths to release the energy… and tell myself that I’ve come a long way from that time period in my life… I have grown SO MUCH and have done so much work in the world, inspired by his death, my mom’s death and trying to live life to the fullest… breathing in and out… I continue on my search…
“Star of David Memorial Gardens Cemetery and Funeral Chapel” came up in google and I knew that was the one. The cemetery is big, and there are many “gardens” in it. I couldn’t find the map I once had emailed to myself, but the words “Garden of Esther” surfaced pretty quickly.
While hunting around, I also found the obituary I wrote for my dad on the web. I remember having to write it on a deadline… after I had just woken up to his no longer living body the day before I turned 23, in the hospital, and had then watched doctors try to recitative him, and then him being wheeled out in a body bag… after eating steak, a baked potato and a diet coke at a local NJ diner with my cousin Barbara and my mom in honor of him… it was all very strange. Not your average day to say the least. He was here and then he was gone. It’s always an odd feeling to change the tense of the words you use to describe them from HE IS to HE WAS.
I was thankful for the information I had collected before he died so that I didn’t have to think so hard about his story. His work was extremely important to him, and his passion for technology is the reason I am who I am and I do what I do today.
My cousin Gary just called me from his grave while I was writing this! He put a rock down (a Jewish tradition) on the “L” for “Lisa” for me and let me “talk to my dad” on the phone by putting the phone down near his grave. I believe my dad is floating around the universe, helping people out, including guiding me in clarifying intuition and where to go next, but energetically it feels really nice to have such close contact with him. During the call, I plucked up my dad’s “CBS NEWS” hat that’s been sitting on my office altar for a while. I am wearing it right now as I continue to edit this this post 🙂
I found his obituary online after sharing it with our facebook support group, I was inspired to share this here on my blog.
My dad’s obituary:
(photos added only for today’s post – I can’t find the original photo that was in the paper)
Birth: Dec. 4, 1949
New York, USA
Death: Oct. 14, 2004
New Jersey, USA